I’m not sure what to do anymore. I feel like my marriage is falling apart and the only thing that I can think about all day long is how we got here. We used to be so happy, but now it feels like we’re fighting every single day. It’s hard because there doesn’t seem to be any resolution in sight for this problem. It’s been two weeks since our last fight and things are still just as bad as they were before that time passed too quickly without us trying anything new or different at all. What should I do?

If this sound like you, you are not alone. Even though you might think that getting your marriage back on track is impossible, it’s not! God never designed things this way for you to be unhappy. But first, let us examine exactly what causes and why most marriages are falling apart.

Why do marriages fall apart?

For most married couples, their marriages end before it becomes obvious, however, there are several factors for consideration. A little knowledge of the root causes for marriage failure is very important if you are to determine what action to take in order to save your failing marriage. If you’re wondering why marriages fail then here are some reasons:

The lack of commitment between both partners  

When one partner shows less interest than the other in this relationship, the relationship is likely to fail. When problems arise, the two should be committed to working together to solve them. It is, therefore, important that both partners are dedicated and committed to this relationship for it not to fail. In addition to that, when the two don’t have enough time for each other, this leads to a break in communication which will eventually lead to divorce.

Lack of trust   

Ever caught your spouse in a lie? If you have, then there is a lack of trust and this is a relationship killer. This broken trust will eventually be the reason for marriage failure because it will be difficult to rebuild it. Trusting each other means that both partners are willing to be vulnerable with each other and are committed to making the relationship work.   


Cheating is one of the biggest reasons for marriage failure and this cheating can either happen physically or emotionally by looking at other people as being better than your spouse. This behaviour results in broken trust which leads to relationship breakdowns. Cheating results in relationships breaking and at the same time, the other spouse lose affection.

Lack of respect   

Respect is one of the biggest reasons for marriage failure and this can happen in a number of ways. One way it happens is when there’s no respect between two partners because they don’t take their spouse seriously, preferring to use them as doormats. Another way it occurs is that people forget to show appreciation at appropriate times which leads to a lack of respect. Another way it occurs is when there’s no support, which also results in broken trust and this eventually leads to relationship breakdowns.

Lack of understanding

Every partner wants his or her spouse to be as open, caring and supportive as possible. But some partners still do not care anymore and do not understand each other’s feelings even after being together for a long time. This can lead to resentment which in turn leads to an unhappy marriage that ends up failing due to a lack of understanding between the two partners.

Differing expectations about marriage  

It’s always important to know what you’re getting yourself into before saying ‘I do’. If your expectations are different from each other, then that is one reason why marriages fail; the lack of communication about these things makes it even worse.


Dishonesty and betrayal can also cause problems, especially if this occurs during courtship. An example would be keeping secrets like having an affair outside marriage or not telling someone about children born out of wedlock (illegitimate kids).

Unmet emotional needs

Unmet emotional needs play a significant role in how relationships work too. This means both partners must discover their life purpose for them to truly understand each other. Unmet emotional needs impact on affection will result in a failing marriage.

Inability to handle conflict in a healthy way.

Conflict is inevitable when the right commitment isn’t there, but it’s how married couples fight that matters most too. Conflict can be handled in a positive or negative manner depending on the emotional maturity of both partners involved and this factor plays an important role in determining why marriages fail too.

Lack of sexual intimacy

Lack of love or romance when married couples stop cuddling together because they’re too busy with their own lives. The other partner refuses to be intimate and this can also be seen through poor body language as they no longer enjoy other’s company. In addition, sexual intimacy also gets affected, this married couple will feel distant affecting this healthy marriage.

Poor communication

Failure to communicate or lack of open communication between married couples is one reason for failed marriages too. Couples don’t know how to communicate feelings, thoughts or ideas leaving one feeling misunderstood, unheard and resentful resulting in a failing marriage. Effective communication can help married couples connect emotionally resulting in healthy relationships.

Different values about life  

When you marry someone, for a strong marriage, it’s important for both of you to have the same values in life about how things should be done. One example would be if one partner wants kids while another doesn’t. Since both parties can’t agree on what to do, this will result in a broken marriage by failing to take into consideration your partner’s perspective.

Different life goals

Lack of common interests also means that the two people involved no longer share similar values and beliefs about what they want or expect from life; this then leads to differences like having different friends, hobbies causing problems for any successful marriage.

Different life goals can lead to many problems in a relationship because both married partners aren’t working towards the same objective, this means that one partner will be making sacrifices while the other isn’t and finally leads to resentment which is what causes this failing marriage of lack of common interests too.

Financial problems

Financial problems or a lack of money management skills will result in a broken marriage too if this issue isn’t handled properly. Most wives will feel disconnected when their husbands mismanage money. Consequently, this will lead to a failing marriage too if not handled well.

There are several reasons which lead to broken marriages. The above list presents some factors behind marital failure but this isn’t an exhaustive list. What matters most is putting efforts towards saving your marriage even if at first, nothing seems to work.

What are the first signs your marriage is over?

Most marriages do not end abruptly, however, this is over time. Every married couple needs to consider the following signs of marriage breakdown seriously.

Sexual intimacy withdrawal

When your partner withholds sex or affection, this is already an indication of a failing marriage. Sex becomes less frequent and your partner seems not to be interested in you anymore, this might indicate a marriage failing.

Separate lives

Your spouse moves out of the bedroom into another room or even separate beds because he/she doesn’t feel loved by his/her husband/wife anymore. These actions indicate there’s something wrong between both partners and the spouse’s absence makes the other partner feel disconnected resulting in a failing marriage.

Withdrawal from family

If one spouse starts to push away from their spouses’ family members for no apparent reason then they’re most likely trying to find a way out through distancing themselves from them. This means breaking all ties with friends too who used to be a significant part of their lives before and this formerly healthy relationship begins to fail.

Constant fights and arguments

Fighting all the time is also another sign that things are not going well between you and your partner. This might be due to arguments or miscommunication about different issues like money management for instance. When both spouses cannot agree with each other on how to deal with certain problems, it can lead to bigger ones later on. This can also lead to a failed marriage because both partners are unable to resolve the issues that they’re having.

12 signs of a failing marriage

If you find yourself asking yourself the following questions, these are further tell tale signs of a failing marriage:

  1. I feel like my marriage is falling apart
  2. We don’t talk anymore, and when we do it’s only about the kids
  3. He doesn’t want to be around me or spend time with me
  4. I’m not sure if he still loves me
  5. I think our relationship has just grown stale over the years 
  6. It feels like we’re roommates instead of spouses
  7. I feel like my spouse doesn’t want to be married anymore
  8. We argue all the time and it’s always about the same thing
  9. It seems like we’re on two different pages, but I can’t figure out what he wants
  10. He says he loves me, but then why does he act like this is a chore for him
  11. I’m starting to think that maybe our relationship will never work because of these problems 
  12. Maybe we should just break up now before things get worse

There are many reasons why marriages fail. The above list presents some factors behind marital failure but this isn’t an exhaustive list. What matters most is putting efforts towards saving your marriage even if at first, nothing seems to work. It’s worth fighting for your marriage if you find yourself going through a rough patch.

What do you do when your marriage is falling apart?

When couples discover that their marriages are falling apart, it can be a very difficult time for them. It’s important to note the first signs of marriage breakdown so you will know what to do when your husband or wife starts acting differently from how they used to before you were happily married.

Honest communication

Talk about everything, talk openly and don’t keep secrets because this might lead to bigger issues down the road. If you have anything on your mind regarding family matters then talk openly with each other and let all feelings out in order for you as a spouse not to feel bottled up inside anymore. Sometimes emotions need an outlet through which they can get poured out instead of just being contained within your heart without anyone else knowing about it resulting in the marriage falling.

Effective communication

When marriages fail, one of the most common reasons is the lack of communication. If there’s no open dialogue between partners then problems might get worse over time instead of getting resolved right away. Talk everything through with each other openly without any shame or fear. Remember that things can always be worked out as long as both people involved are willing to find solutions for the sake of saving their marriage.

Personal development

This is exactly what you should do, you should thrive to work on yourself as an individual because this will make you a better person to your spouse. If something is wrong in your marriage then it could be because of you. You should grow as an individual so when problems arise, there are already solutions available for these issues instead of making them worse. You should also work on yourself to be a great partner that your spouse can look forward to coming home to every day of the week.

Working together as a team

Being an effective and strong couple means working hand in hand with each other like you’re best friends instead of enemies trying to outdo one another for some silly reason or other. You should always feel happy about being with your spouse, go on date nights and this leads to a healthy long term relationship. Couples who work together as a team are guaranteed to succeed.

Sometimes marriage problems can feel like the end of the world and that there’s no way out but this isn’t true at all if both people involved still love each other very much and want to save their marriage together as husband and wife without letting go of what they’ve built over time with so much effort put into making it work.

Seek professional help

When couples cannot agree with each other on certain issues that they need to sort out together then you should consider seeking professional help and marriage counseling. You must take due diligence when choosing a marriage counsellor. Some couples have reported that they were worse of after going for marriage counselling. Most counsellors will advise you to separate and this is contrary to God’s word. A good marriage counsellor will advise that you stay together and work on your issues as a couple not apart. Therefore, it is imperative to choose a counsellor who stands for marriages and not one who will tell you to divorce.

Learn to forgive each other

Forgiveness is the only way for couples who are having marital problems because it’s important to understand that no one is perfect in this world, there might have been faults committed by both sides. Forgiveness can be hard to practice especially when it comes from a spouse who has been hurt. However, forgiveness is key in saving your marriage because if you don’t forgive each other then the cycle of pain and bitterness will never end.

Be patient with one another

It’s important to consider that all marriages go through a rough phase but trials make a strong marriage. Don’t give up on your spouse because one day they might be worth your time and effort. Patience is key in saving a failing marriage because it takes two people to make any relationship work, remember this fact when you feel like giving up on the other person too soon without trying hard enough together as a couple to save your marriage.

Patience is also important because it takes time for people to change especially if they have been deliberately hurtful towards their spouse throughout the years of being together as husband and wife without much remorse or regret displayed by them. Keep in mind that being patient means not losing your temper and giving up on a spouse too soon without trying hard enough as a couple to save your marriage.

How do I save my marriage from falling apart?

I know what you’re thinking now – how do I save my marriage when it’s falling apart? The answer is still very simple, but not everyone seems to understand this without even trying which makes them lose hope in saving their relationship with their significant other. If your husband or wife has already distanced themselves from you then they might have already given up on fixing things between both of you. However, there is still hope in God to restore your marriage, but you must also be willing to participate.

When trying to fix things with your significant other, don’t rush into anything because there’s a chance that they will just run away from all problems again – instead of being impulsive and having both people fight more than before, have patience when dealing with these kinds of situations so no one gets hurt anymore in the end; yes, this is easier said than done but everyone deserves another shot at saving their marriage without any regrets afterwards.

Work on the three Pillars of a marriage

There are three basic principles to any relationship: emotional connection, intimacy and mutual rewards. When the two principles are balanced the relationship is balanced and healthy. When a marriage has two pillars working well it is considered a good marriage. When both pillars are not working and one or two is out of balance the marriage will be unbalanced. The relationship becomes unhealthy and this can lead to a failing marriage.

Realize that you will often view things differently.

Both people in a relationship will always have different opinions on certain issues because everyone has their own points of view. However, it’s important to understand that just because you might see things differently doesn’t mean that your spouse is wrong. Instead of being stubborn and not listening, try to be understanding about the other person’s side so both parties can find a solution to fix problems together.

Don’t play the blame game because it’s not going to solve anything at all – instead of pointing fingers and getting defensive, try taking responsibility for your own part so you can both work on a solution as one single unit without any more arguing or fighting between each other. This is important in fixing things within a marriage because it’s pointless to fight over things that can easily be fixed if both people are on the same page.

Be willing to understand and compromise on certain issues with your spouse

Although there will always be disagreements and arguments happen, you should never let these minor problems get in between a marriage. Instead of letting small arguments turn into bigger ones which might lead to a divorce, it’s important to be willing and open-minded about each other’s opinions and views – furthermore, try compromising because both people should always give in a little bit if they truly love the person sleeping next to them.

If you follow these simple steps to save your marriage then the good news is that there’s a chance that it will start getting better between the both of you.

In addition to that, if you are feeling like your marriage is falling apart, you have tried all the above remedies and seems like things are getting even worse. Now is the time to let God fight for your marriage.

Don’t give up. God’s timing is perfect and if you believe that he has a good plan for your marriage – the only thing left to do now is waiting until all things will be restored in His time, not yours. Trust Him with this process because restoration takes time. The book of Jeremiah says where your thoughts end, God’s thoughts begin.

I am a living testimony, my marriage also fell apart and was separated for some time, but I want to tell you that God saved my marriage through a supernatural encounter. It does not matter how far your marriage has gone in the wrong direction, God can restore it and give you a new beginning.

All you need now is to give your life o Jesus Christ, repent and ask for forgiveness. Then you need to apply some principles of spiritual warfare to win your spouse back and restore your marriage. Only God can help you, but only if you believe in him and seek his face.

God of heaven is able to turn around your situation if only you surrender your marriage to him. What He needs is for you to focus on Him and not yourself, so pray and let God fight for your marriage.

Thank you for reading this blog post. I hope that it has been helpful to you in some way or another – if there’s anything else about the subject material that you would like me to cover then feel free to leave a comment down below! Thanks again and take care, everyone.

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